3 boys can be a lot of work, but there are significant perks to this mom-job!
If I had a dollar for every time someone said one of the following things to me when I’m out with my 3 boys, I’d be living on a private island right now:
- Are you trying for a girl?
- You must be busy.
- *look of extreme sympathy*
Frankly, I love my 3 boys to bits. They are each about 2 1/2 years apart. The eldest has a surprising wit that alternately leaves me rolling on the floor and rolling my eyes, but also has a big, sensitive heart. My middle guy is the best helper I’ve ever met, and even in early elementary is a real ladies man. The littlest boy is sneaky, but every time I catch him doing something bad, he turns on the most dimpled smile and gets out of trouble.
My family is just like your family in so many ways. But there are some things ONLY boy moms know. Read to find out what they are?
DISCLAIMER: This post isn’t intended to say that boys are better than girls or any of that nonsense, but simply that having 3 boys isn’t something to pity! If you enjoyed it, please pass it on!
1) Boys appreciate my poop jokes
I love a good poop joke. No, not excessive ones at the kitchen table, but a witty poop joke can crack me up anytime. Try this one on for size:
No, I didn’t poo. Did you?
I truly appreciate having an easily-pleased audience when I come up with that type of gem. 3 boys are just the audience I need.
2) Having 3 boys means fewer clothes
Sometimes I have a choked-up-teary-eyed moment where my youngest is wearing a shirt that I remember both his brothers wearing. I could have those moments every day if I had a better memory because almost every single article of clothing my youngest wears has been worn by both his older brothers. And since I have friends who give me their hand-me-downs, I’m quite sure I spent less than $500 in clothes in the past 8 years. Thank you boys for letting me spend my money on other things (like noise-canceling headphones).
I’ve heard this low-maintenance clothing trend tends to continue on in life, so I think we’ve got it made in the clothing department. We also won’t have to go into debt to afford makeup, jewelry, accessories, and handbags. Just fancy underwear (if my friend’s teens are any indication)…but I can deal with that. And on that note we come to #3…
3) I don’t have to share (mostly)
Except for the occasional time when the boys have wanted nail polish or to wear my necklaces, I doubt they’re going to want to share my sweaters and lipstick. Which works just fine for me, thank you very much.
4) Fewer toys in the house
Yes, I know, boys and girls can play with the same toys. But it seems that Toys R Us hasn’t figured that out yet. Until they do, I’m very happy to easily categorize all birthday/Christmas gifts into one of five bins: vehicles, tools, marbles, Lego, and sticks.
5) Wrestling (and not wrestling)
I like wrestling with my boys on the trampoline. But when they get too rough, all I have to say is “be gentle with mommy!” and the wrestling is all done. It’s a great card to play, let me tell you.
6) I get to be their first love
This is true of all mommy-son relationships, but I think it’s especially sweet when there is no sister in the mix. I’m also the queen bee. There’s currently no other woman bossing my boys around, at least, not when they’re at home. 😆
7) Easier hair
Last year, my youngest got lice. I know, right? SO GROSS. But you know what we did? Each boy took a turn in the backyard with the buzzer and we shaved it all off. Compare that to my friend with 2 girls who recently spent 14 hours total (no exaggeration) combing nits out of their hair. My solution: 10 minutes.
Also, I think I combed their hair about 5 times before they each turned 5. Only at Christmas, really. It certainly makes mornings easier. 😬
My eldest currently has long-ish hair, but in mid-elementary, he’s old enough to brush it himself and young enough not to care about bedhead.
Seriously, it doesn’t take much to entertain this crew. Throw a bunch of sticks in the backyard and I’ve got myself a free afternoon. (at least, until someone draws blood…)
9) The chance to raise the kind of men I want to see in the world
When you look around the world, you can easily see how much damage a few bad men can do in the world. (Apparently, testosterone can have a negative effect on peacemaking.)
We have the chance to raise the kind of men who will build up the world instead of tearing it down. Men who will live with integrity and treat others with respect and kindness, men who love their families, and men who speak up for those who are less fortunate.
I am honored to be given that duty in triplicate, and I can only pray that I will live up to the challenge.
Raising 3 (or more!) boys has challenges as well, so here’s a bonus list of the things I think you’ll need! If you’re about to embark on the journey of 3 (or more) boys, I hope you find this helpful.
3 things you’ll need to raise your 3 boys:
1) Grace for yourself
Sometimes, in a vulnerable moment, I’ll share this secret with a friend: I was a better mom when I had 2 boys. I could keep the house clean, bake bread, run the children’s ministries at my church, and exercise regularly. I was gentler, I read more to them, and felt like I had it generally together. Then came the third son, and it busted all my boxes of what my life should look like.
With more kids making a mess and less time to clean them, I had to learn to let things go.
I’m sure this is the same with either boys or girls, but if you’ll permit a brief stereotype…boys are messy and loud and are constantly injuring themselves and breaking things and putting holes in my walls. I had to learn to let more of those things go.
Many years ago, I recognized that I was a super impatient person, so I asked God for more patience. The joke’s on me because His way of giving patience isn’t what I thought. I expected Him to fill me with unending patience. Instead, He gave me 3 sons to raise. 😳 Turns out, how God gives patience is by putting us into situations that develop our patience.
Boys push, throw, climb, yell, and make messes. If I had a nickel for every time I said “our house is not a jungle gym”, I’d be on a Hawaiian vacation right now.
Siblings fight. A lot. One of my boys knows which buttons to push on the other two, and he pushes them All The Time. You are going to need patience of the strongest variety!
I’m not gonna lie. You’re going to need grit to raise those 3 boys of yours. As males tend to be less chatty, you’ll need the perseverance to get to know your boys. You can’t become offended when they won’t share their problems – you will need to find ways to climb over those walls and get into their hearts.
Above all, your best teammate in this journey of raising 3 boys is God. He is the one who can fill you with strength on the hardest, messiest, noisiest days.
Here are a few of my favorite books for raising boys – I hope you find them as helpful as I have! All of these books are written by Christian boymoms I know and trust.
If you’re looking for other resources, here are two of my favorite websites for boymoms.
How about you? What do you love most about the kids that you have?
Whether you have 1 or 10, biological or adopted or fostered or grandparented, they’re all special.