I am weary. Not the kind of weary that can be cured by a good night’s sleep or a cup of coffee, but soul-achingly weary.
Do you feel it too?
I am weary from doing all the things, carrying the burdens both physical and mental, filling out all the papers…it’s enough to suck a soul dry. Parched. Except my tear ducts seem to be working fine. I laughed a deep belly laugh today, for the first time in a long time, and still the tears were there, blurring my vision but not spilling over. Hidden.
Then I look around and see what my friends are dealing with, and say to myself, “you have no right to feel like this. Look at how much hard they have. Your hard doesn’t count.”
But like I told a friend other day, tired is hard too. Weary is hard. Sadness is hard. Your hard and my hard, they’re different. But they both count.
Contrary to the familiar adage that tells me that “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle”, I think maybe I have been given more than I can handle right now. But the purpose of this hard isn’t to suck me dry, but to remind me to turn to my Maker and allow Him to fill me back up. To let Him teach me how to order my days, to do the things that are important and peacefully forget about the things that aren’t.
Moses had a hard thing too. When he came down the mountain, brimming with joy over the connection he had with I AM, and the stiff-necked people had built an idol. God wanted to smite them and only Moses stood in the gap. That was hard.
Moses cried out to the Lord in his weariness.
And what did God say? He didn’t say “Look Moses. You’ve had it hard. But Aaron? He was a slave while you lived in luxury. His back was torn by whips while you counted sheep in the desert, and he had to watch his children bear impossible burdens while your family lived in peace. Your hard doesn’t count.”
Rather, the Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”
“My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”
Moses’ life didn’t get any easier, but he did develop an enviable relationship with God. I’m clinging to that today.
Today, my hard is hard. I’m allowed to feel that, deep down in my soul, where the tears sit on the verge of coming but the bulk of my soul is dry.
His Presence will go with me today. Yes, even when I don’t feel it and I fall asleep on the kitchen floor or when the joy seems like an elusive shadow in my peripheral vision, I know he will go with me today. God promised to give Moses rest too. I’m not sure what kind of rest Moses actually got – whether it was a real long nap or a 2 hour break from the incessant whining or even an oasis of peace deep down in his soul – but I do know that God keeps his promises. And it wasn’t just Moses that was promised rest, because Jesus told us that his “yoke is easy and [his] burden is light”. Rest.
To you who read these words today, I would like to pray this blessing over you:
May God’s presence go with you, and may He give you rest.
If you found this word encouraging today, please share it with a friend. Let them know that their hard counts too.