Are there shades of love?

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In case you hadn’t noticed, there is currently a big maelstrom online about the movie, 50 Shades of Grey, set to come out in theatres on Saturday (Valentines Day). It’s like the world suddenly woke up and noticed how this insidious shadow has captured the imaginations of so many women, and they abruptly realized that there’s no light in it.

The book and the movie are essentially glorified abuse (read this illuminating article written by a survivor of an abusive relationship). Even the co-stars seem as though they’re wishing they hadn’t signed the contract. When even the non-Christian world is calling for the plug to be pulled on a movie due to its pornographic, abusive, misogynistic, violent premise, there’s something wrong.

But here’s the thing – mothers all over the globe have jumped on it as an acceptable form of “mommy porn”, hoping that it will rejuvenate their marriages. And I’m not just talking about non-believers. I’ve had this conversation in a Bible study when our conversation moved from men and internet porn into this “mommy porn” concept. Apparently this book has God-fearing women very confused.

Can I be honest?

Christ is not darkness.

Christ is not grey.

Christ is not abusive, manipulative, or a stalker.

Christ is light.

Christ is fiercely protective of women.

Christ would rather die than see you living in pain and regret, abuse and violence.

“Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your own minds because of your evil behaviour. But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you hold in his sign, without blemish and free from accusation.” (Colossians 1:21-22 NIV)

I’ve read of women who are so in love with Christian Grey, the fictional abuser, that they go out and search for this kind of love of their own. And they fall into abuse. Why? Because it’s NOT love. I weep in desperation for the hearts of women who have seen so little of true love that they will accept this blatant lie.

What is love?

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.

That is love.

You are beautiful woman who has been created out of God’s intense love, and he longs to lavish his true love on you. Not as a petulant and creepy boyfriend, but as a groom standing at the front of the church, anxiously waiting for his one true love to appear through the doorway.

That’s why, instead of taking part in Christian Grey, I will choose instead to rest in the shadow of the Christ, in whom there is no grey, no darkness at all. 

“This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.”

1 John 1:5